BEWARE THE HEALER WHO…
Below are strictly my opinions about the “warning signs” that should put you on notice when dealing with healers. Some of these have come from my own painful experiences with less than stellar healers. Others have come from questions posed by the Internet community about how other healers should/not operate.
If your healer has one or more of these “warning signs” of healers gone wrong, then you are best served finding another one.
BEWARE THE HEALER WHO CANNOT BEAR YOUR TEARS
God designed the human body to release the effects of emotions in many ways… one of the most powerful being tears. So for those adults who refuse to cry because their healers advise against it or because they feel it is inappropriate… I would ask them to view crying in light of their experience with children.
When children get hurt and are in real pain, parents can always tell it from the sound of their voice and how they act, etc. Children cry to help release their pain and stop when it subsides. Parents can also tell when their children are crying for effect and really do not “mean it”. These kind of crocodile tears are just a tactical move to get you as parent to do or not do something. The first kind of crying alerts you as a parent to real problems, the second to imaginary ones.
Those adults that indulge in crying jags because they like to live on the choppy seas of their emotions should not be indulged… they do attract their own pain and get more of it because they are into “sturm and drang”. So they get what they expect for their imaginary tears. Yet, for those adults who need to release their emotions, tears are often the most appropriate vehicle for the situation. When a healer, a family member, or a friend tries to stop “real tears”, they are short circuiting the healing process. At best this is irresponsible, at worst, it is cruel and destructive.
Would you tell your child who got hit in the knee with the baseball bat not to cry because they are only going to attract more tears? No, in fact, you would chew out a coach who dared to tell your child that and maybe get him disciplined by the school. Are adults less worthy of releasing their emotions than children when they are in pain? No, of course not. Should we be telling those who lose loved ones not to cry because they will only get more tears? Of course not.
Crying is a part of the healing process. When a healer tells a patient not to cry when they need to, it instantly disconnects them from their reality of their emotions. Disconnecting people from the truth of their reality is ALWAYS the first part of the torture process. The healer who cannot bear your tears… has enormous difficulties with their own. So if they have to stop or forbid you from crying, this means they are guarding their own from being released at the expense of your needs.
BEWARE THE HEALER WHO CRIES “CHARGE… IT ALL”
It is truly astonishing what some healers will have the gall to demand from their clients. The following are from “real cases” reported by individuals who wanted my opinion about the necessity of what their healer was recommending. As in “you need to lay down $1,500 up front, non-refundable before we talk”. As in “you need to buy $1,200 only from this one shop in Tibet before we go further”. As in “it is best for you to get the $1,100 essential oil aromatherapy package” or “the $750 package of candles with rock salt holders” and so on.
Large, non refundable fees upfront are the sure sign of practitioners who have no confidence in their services: they have to collect before you find out how bad they really are. Buying only from one source means that they have a commission arrangement with that source and probably make more from it than their healing. Buying a package usually is a code word for a multi-level marketing arrangement that the healer benefits financially from which is great only if the products are deliver real value (which sadly most, in my experience, do not).
If the healer has NO regard for your financial situation, then you must seriously question if they have your best interests at heart. Those who operate from a space of abundance have no need to “rip you off” by having you buy unnecessary extras. Those who are talented healers really do not need such things to help you heal. Those who pressure you to buy pricey extras will eventually reap bad karma.
BEWARE THE HEALER WHO MAKES FINANCIAL DEMANDS
The healing transaction should simply be this. You have a problem. You go to a healer for assistance. They help facilitate your healing process. You feel better. Maybe you buy some inexpensive healing tools, like books or tapes, maybe you do not. Maybe you go again, maybe you do not. Yet whatever you do, it is totally up to you. Any financial exchange outside these parameters must be questioned.
Questionable financial exchanges involve the following types of “compensation”… As in “inner beings tell me that you must pay for my trip to… or to buy me…” As in “inner beings insist that you make a love offering of…” As in “inner beings say you must write me into your will…” As in “inner beings say you must take money from your family and give it to me… but do not tell anyone…”
Fraudulent financial exchanges involve the following types of “pressure”… As in “this money, this jewelry, these legal papers (like wills or deeds), this valuable item of [fill in the blank] is ‘cursed’ and the only way to ‘clear’ them is for the healer to take them over…” As in “you must pay thousands of dollars to remove a hex/spell, to purge an evil spirit, to dispose of a rival, to ruin a perceived enemy, or to receive winning numbers to the lottery.” As in “because of a ‘karmic connection’ inner beings decree that you MUST become the student of the healer, or you must support them, or you must otherwise revolve your life around theirs.””Inner beings” come from a place of love as should healers. All of the above financial exchanges are merely pressure exerted by healers with the goal of healing their own financial situation. It is one thing if you want to give generously to a healer… but that should be something that comes from you… and not from the healer. If they are pressuring you financially, then just run fast and run far.
BEWARE THE HEALER WHO MAKES BIZARRE DEMANDS
Even the Hippocratic Oath recognizes that the healing relationship gives the healer a degree of power which can be misused for sexual advantage. The news is full of people who use their position as healer for the purpose of sexual experimentation. Of course, healers like these will say things like “sharing my energy through sex will only boost yours”, “once you have sex with me, you will be healed”, “you are lucky to be touching my super-powerful energy, it will change you for life!” or “your romantic partner is a loser and sex with me will heal you”. These are all lies and a healer who makes such claims should be avoided at all costs.
More damaging are those healers who make “bizarre demands” of their clients. These begin by healers trying to convince you that your religion/philosophy/beliefs, etc are wrong and that you MUST believe as the healer does for only that can save you. These continue by the healer saying you are cursed, evil, worthless, even that you will die without their special protection. These end by healers asking you to commit crimes by obtaining illegal substances, harming animals, defacing public property, and so on. This gives the healer control over you as in “I know what you did, and if you don’t want me to tell then you had better do what I want you to do!”
If your healer asks you to say/do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable in anyway, ask them to stop. If they are a caring healer, then they will instantly comply with your request. If not, then just walk away. If they try to take control of your life or are getting you to doubt yourself, say nothing, just leave. Healing should be about you. You are the customer. You should get what you are paying for.
BEWARE THE HEALER WHO “HEALS BY HURTING”
If someone tells you that to heal you must feel the “beautiful pain”, tell them there is nothing beautiful about pain. At times, pain is an unavoidable part of the healing process. Yet the healer should always work to minimize that pain and keep you as comfortable as possible. Your well being should be their primary concern.
One time in a healing seminar, the teacher demonstrated a technique on me which caused me pain. I was too stoic to ask for help and just waited, hoping it would go away or that the teacher see it and would help me out. The teacher later explained they were aware of my pain… but they had not gotten to the part in the lesson where the other students would be able to understand what the teacher was doing to help me out. The teacher HAD to wait until “the time was right”. BULL!!!
If you are in pain, this is a signal from your body, that you need help right away. You need help now and not later when it is “convenient” for others or yourself. If your healer has no sympathy or compassion for your suffering, get a new healer.
BEWARE THE HEALER USING HURT TO MEASURE SUCCESS
Equally bad as the healer who ignores pain is the one who uses pain as a measure of success. When you hear your healer making the following types of statements, you will definitely want to look elsewhere. Pain is never a measure of success.
The healer has failed who says, “What a great session! You had such a cry out! Why you cried for a full 20 minutes this time!” Or “I could really feel you leaning into that pain, good for you!” Or “go for the burn, it has got to hurt if you want to make progress.” Or “Are you feeling that beautiful pain yet?” You get the idea.
There are some therapies, like Emotional Freedom Technique, where the more pain that is experienced, the greater the healing release. Yet, in therapies like EFT, intense pain is of short duration and the goal of the therapy is to DECREASE the level of pain over time. The goal should never be to INCREASE pain or to feel it CONSTANTLY. Over time, if the healing is working correctly, the level of pain will automatically be reduced and finally eliminated.
BEWARE THE HEALER WHO RELIES ON CRUTCHES
Just as you would not take lessons in long distance running from a teacher on crutches, you should not get treatment from a healer who can only reach into their “bag of tricks” to help you. Rocks, aromas, herbs, and so on are wonderful TOOLS to ASSIST healers but they are not the source from which healing flows.
Remember that you are always in charge of your own healing process. Healers and tools only assist and facilitate you in your own process. The best healers are not solely reliant on external tools like rocks, aromas, and herbs. They can facilitate your healing process with the power of their energy, skill, and words.
If a healer tells you that you cannot be healed without rocks, aromas, herbs, etc, what they are really saying is they cannot break free of their crutches. One of the essential truths of healing is that healers can only heal others to the extent that they are healed. If they are limping along on crutches, how can they really help you?
BEWARE TWHO SUPER CHARGES CRUTCHESHE HEALER
One of the greatest healing scams going is perpetrated by healers who claim to “super charge/program crystals with their own energy”. They claim that this charging/programming will work to infuse the crystal with their high energy frequencies, protective filters, and other programs to enhance your healing processes, deepen your meditation practices, and/or achieve special intentions.
They will charge you hundreds and thousands of dollars for this and will tell you that you are getting a real bargain. What a racket! Does that God, creator of the universe, who made everything to be perfect in it’s way, need a mere mortal to lay grubby fingers on His perfect creation to improve upon it? PUHLEASE!
Stones come to those who need them. Stones work directly with that person’s energy to uplift it using it’s own special vibrations. Stones do not need a middle-person and, in fact, will “shake off” the energies of other people BEFORE working directly with you. This means that you have just wasted hundreds or thousands of dollars for bogus hype. Still think that charging/programming is a bargain?
BEWARE THE HEALER WHO SHOWS CONTEMPT FOR YOU
I once attended a seminar of a famous healer, nationally known and often televised, (I will not mention who), where I was shocked to discover the genuine contempt that person had for the legions of their fans in attendance. This person was curt and often rude to those who had been standing patiently in line for an hour just to ask a simple, heartfelt question. If the “great healer” could answer it quickly and easily, the person went away satisfied. If the answer was not forthcoming or the person dared question it, the healer was down right rude and dismissive. One person ran from the hall with tears in their eyes, crushed by the coldness of the “great healer”.
If your healer cannot treat you with respect and kindness, run fast and run far. If your healer looks at you and sees dollar signs instead of a person in need of their help, run fast and run far. If your healer is not listening to your reasonable or repeated requests, run fast and run far. If your healer makes you feel at all uncomfortable, even if you cannot pinpoint the reason, run fast and run far.
Healing should be about love, compassion, and personal improvement, when it becomes about anything else, end your relationship with that healer.
BEWARE THE HEALER WITH TOO MANY TESTIMONIALS
To figure out if a healer has “too many testimonials”, look at the number of them relative to the number of years the person has been practicing and to the statistics relevant to the receipt of genuine testimonials from real people… and do the math.
To do the math, recognize that statistics show out of every hundred people a healer works on maybe 50 will thank them and say they did a good job. Out of that 50, maybe 20 will write and say thanks. Out of that 20, maybe 5 will allow you to post their testimonial to your site or brochure. Ironically, if your site has a guestbook, maybe 10 will post their own testimonial. So the statistics of testimonials are that maybe 10% at best, 5% in reality, will provide them.
Now look at the number of years the healer has been practicing and realize there are only 250 business days, excluding weekends, holidays, and vacations. 10% return on testimonials means that the number of clients someone could see in 25 business days should tell you the maximum testimonial yield in a year is 200 at most, 100 in reality. So a healer practicing 5 years could have 1,000 testimonials at most but more like 500 in reality, probably less for most practitioners.
Some practitioners have so many testimonials that even if they work day and night around the clock during the years they received an 100% rate of return on testimonials (which never happens), they would still have too many to be believed. This means the healer made the testimonials up and are guilty of false advertizing. And if they are lying about this one minor thing, what else will they lie about? Like anything else, if it sounds too good to be true, it is not true.
BEWARE THE HEALER WHO IS TOO SELF CENTERED
When you go to a healer, the focus of the session should be you, especially when you are paying for it. When the session becomes about the healer and not about you, firmly but politely remind them it is about you. If the healer still keeps the focus on them, you need to find another healer, plain and simple.
For example, a local healer gave a series of classes on various healing modalities. The class quickly became a success because, for a modest fee, many useful healing techniques were imparted. Then the healer lost this all important focus on their clients: the class mutated into, in essence, a group therapy session for the healer. Attendance fell off and this healer could just not understand why no one wanted to travel to their class and pay for the privilege of giving them free therapy!
While a healer should only bring their experiences to your attention to illustrate how they solved the same problem you are facing. The goal of the healer should be to help you with solving your own problem. If you do not think it relevant, say so and good healers will move on and take another approach which focuses more on you.
BEWARE THE HEALER WHO IS LOADED WITH TITLE
Spiritual titles like “Doctor, Professor, Sir, Sri, His/Her Grace, His/Her Holiness, Mahatma” and so on are meant to fool you into believing that those who hold them are somehow better than you are. Yet the truth is that we are all equal in God’s eyes and that titles are merely creations of and value judgments made by man.
Those who insist on titles essentially feel inadequate in themselves or they would not need a title to impress others. Healers who must “coast on their credentials” are usually not the best. Mostly because their ego and vanity are likely getting in the way of the flow of spirit. Since “they are who they are”, there is no need for the continuous improvement that is the hallmark of great healers. Worse, ego driven healers usually create relationship of “superior” (them) and “inferior” (you) which keeps them from cocreating a solution which is likely to be better for you.
Every healer must approach things in their own way. Anyone who is a good healer is bound to have strong opinions about what is and is not proper conduct in the healing “transaction”. These are my opinions about “healers gone wrong”… you must come to your own conclusions about the healer that is right for you.
Source:- Ellen A Mogensen.