How To Live Without Control
Author: Zoe Young and Adam Benedetto
What happens when our plans are changed or when things are not going our way? How do we deal with these kinds of moments? How do we let go of our plans so that we can shift with the moment in a less stressful way? When things happen that go against what we want, we have to be able to adjust in a way that is not a struggle. What we need to understand is that life itself is not made up of our plans and agendas, nor does it run on a course we have already decided. If life were so, then everything, including ourselves, would always be as we wished. There would never be one moment that we didn’t like or didn’t expect. Everything would be quite boring because we would have already decided what it would be like. Luckily for us, this is not how life is; life is constantly changing, moving, and altering even our perception of what it is.
Every day we wake up is full of possibilities, ones we cannot always imagine. So if what happens doesn’t fit with what we chose, how do we react? Do we get flustered, angry, and struggle with the change or is it possible to find a way to flow with what has altered and accept what is happening? Both ways are possible of course, but only one keeps you living with life, instead of against it. Life happens around us, with us and inside of us. To assume life is scheduled by us is to think we have total control, when all we have is the ability to experience it. We fight life for the control we think we have over it. When we of this idea, the fight disappears because we are part of life, instead of against it. It doesn’t mean we stop planning, choosing, or trying; it just means when things don’t go our way, instead of being disturbed by this, we see it as one of life’s possibilities. We are surrounded by so much, and sometimes the altering of our plans enables us to change, to see and understand something new. Even if it doesn’t’ feel this way, at least it gives us the chance to try and release the control we think we have.
You can practice letting go. When things change, as they always do, try to imagine letting go of what you had so that what is happening is something you can be a part of. Imagine letting go of the need to manage, control, or be in charge of your life and everything around you. The release of this kind of pressure on one’s self is a huge relief, even if only temporarily in that moment. Practice letting go and accepting what it is that is changing. Accept that, even without your control, you will be fine, that it is okay, and you do not need to fight the moment. Every moment we interact with in this way enables us to be present. When we accept what is happening, we are no longer separate, but part of life. We enable ourselves to live freely with whatever transgresses and, in some amazing way, find that life itself is completely doable without the control we think we need. So the next time you feel challenged by what is going on around you, imagine letting go of your plans or ideas, accept that what is happening is okay, and then let it go. Let yourself move forward with the moment; do not resist it, but welcome it. When we are present and accepting, the struggle of it all ceases.
About the Author
Open up to the peace you will find when you finally see yourself, your true self, and learn how to truly be in the moment at Answers in Writing.
Adam Benedetto and Zoe Young are both dedicated to enabling others to reach their full potential in life, to help others release what is holding them back, and to find their true selves. Through years of experience and development, both have sought out the answers we all need to find peace, understand ourselves, and reach enlightenment.